Tuco Benedicto Ramírez once said, “I like big fat men like you. When they fall they make more noise”. Unfortunately, this does not have anything to do with BigFishMag. It just introduces an element of abstractness (or so we think). What BigFishMag has is: Funny Articles (so we think, again), Hilarious Webcomics (and again) and B-Grade movie reviews. What we do not have is a reason for readers to leave our website, ever; and that is the primary reason why you haven’t heard about us.

PS: This website is dedicated in the loving memory of our friend who had cancer in the ass. Although no portion of our income will go to any patient with cancer in the ass, it will make you think twice before ruthlessly clicking on the red X on top of your screen.

Big Fish Mag on the Internet

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Every smoker starts off life as a non-smoker. Unfortunately, the non-smokers fail to come to terms with this simple fact and treat their brethren with more contempt than there is for Israelis in Palestine. There has always been a war of sorts between the two (Both Israel-Palestine and Smoker-Nonsmoker). A non smoker hates a smoker because he smokes. A smoker hates a non smoker because the fucker just won’t let him smoke in peace!

With the media and everyone else (Catholic wives Club, Nudist transvestites against tobacco, Mrs. Sharma’s Kitty Party…etc.) on the side of the non smoker, the war was always one sided. The smoker never had a voice, or maybe he lost it to throat cancer. On behalf of the smoker, I bring you

‘THE MOST ANNOYING NON-SMOKER QUOTES’

‘Smoking kills’

Yes, ‘Smoking Kills’! The smoker understood it first up. The non smoker wasn’t too thrilled with this. He couldn’t possibly let the SOB get away so easy. So, he cooked up an evil little plan in his head. It constituted annoying the hell out of the smoker by prophesying his death, over and over and over again. A tactic borrowed from the humble realm of roadside astrologers.

I don’t think it’s very polite to tell someone ‘you’ll get cancer’ or ‘you’ll suffer and die’. Non smokers have stopped paying heed to their manners. Have you ever seen a smoker go up to a fat guy eating a burger and say ‘that burger is gonna give you a heart attack’, or just go to an old lady and tell her that she’s going to kick the bucket soon? Manners! Learn some ye non smokers!

‘Plain text isn’t enough. We need to send out a stronger message’

In comes the idea of pictorial warning signs on cigarettes. Who exactly are these pictorial signs meant to target?

1) If they are targeting the uneducated, then I’m sure he won’t know why the fuck is there an image of a lung on his bloody cigarette pack. As a matter of fact, he won’t even know that the image is of a lung. The uneducated aren’t too good with biology.

2) If they are targeting the educated, then guess what? They can already read. The last time pictures were used to explain something was kindergarten. Remember A for Apple with an image of an apple next to it. I think we have all passed that stage now. We know what a bloody apple looks like without a picture for reference. If people need images to understand something, we can safely say that we have moved down the evolutionary ladder by a rung or two.
If the entire idea of pictorial warning signs wasn’t ridiculous enough, the non smoker comes with this image:

‘Tobacco Kills’… check. ‘Tobacco Causes Cancer’… check. Scorpion…. WTF!!! Can someone tell me what the fuck is a scorpion doing there? How exactly is this scorpion supposed to get people to stop smoking? Quit smoking or I shall sting you?

It’s supposed to be a crab, you idiots. How did they skip from crab to scorpion? No fucking clue. I guess crab is too old school for these guys. Scorpion is the IN thing.

Some one even suggested having gory images on cigarette packs. How the hell do such people get into power? Fuck that. How exactly did this guy come to life? The sperm that created this person was probably competing with 1 million disabled sperm. If not, then Darwin lied about evolution. Today cigarette packs, tomorrow you’ll see images of mangled corpses at railway crossings to dither people. How about placing images of the victims of terrorist attacks at Taj, in all of its rooms, as a warning? Ridiculous?… yes. Stupid?… yes. Retarded?… fuck yeah!

‘Smokers are a threat to society’

A smoker can hardly run for more than 10 seconds. If that is a threat to you then you got some real fucked up medical condition!

If you are worried of second hand smoke, then let me tell you second hand smoke isn’t the reason for global warming.

‘Only stupid people smoke. So quit it’

Apparently, your IQ is quite influenced by smoking. Start smoking and it decreases. Quit it and it increases. Oh, the wonders of smoking!

If only stupid people smoke, then why do you want to save them? Let them die. In fact, go find stupid people and introduce them to cigarettes.

‘I don’t smoke because it’s not even a cool thing’

This means you would have smoked if it had been a cool thing. I hate this quote the most. It comes from the kind that has no identity of its own and does everything on the basis of it being cool or not.

If the anti-smoking non smoker still thinks that he belongs to the side which cares more about life, then I guess you don’t know who led the first anti-smoking campaign. Don’t know? I’ll tell you. The person is………. *drumroll*……… Adolf Hitler. The smoker side requests for two minutes of laughter.

The purpose of this article wasn’t to glorify smoking in any way. It was meant to make you see the other side of the coin which is obviously neglected. Hopefully now you’ll realize that those who smoke have made their choice. How about letting ‘em be?

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BigFishMag.com

Remember those Demons and bad guys in Ramayan/Mahabharat? Guess what they played with in their childhood.

If your child is a hyperactive stuff wrecker you can him this doll to scare him into submission. Or maybe he’s got constipation and needs an easy release..

The ad clearly shows children turning into that thing in the exorcist. So maybe there’s some added benefit…

The Most Annoying laugh ever

If your child grows up to become this guy, then you can sympathize with animals who eat their own young. Serious WTF there, how do his relatives live? I’m sure comedy serials or joke telling must be banned from his neighborhood

Die Laughing?

Girl can’t stop laughing at a game show. And host can’t decide if she’s happy, or dying of asphyxiation. But funny still…

Hyuk, hyuk hyuk…

Grandpa has the funniest laugh ever. Seriously, this guy is the opposite of the “2. Annoying Laughter Guy”. Next two videos are also related to gramps.

Alien girl laughing over Grandpa

This video is so cool, without the sound off!

Laughter Chain

A laughter chain of people laughing over other people laughing! Features Hyuking grandpa too. Check out the French woman in the end. Tennis players grunt more softly than this.

All the weird laughing messed you up? Here’s a video of a perfectly normal human baby laughing to clear your senses.

And now, for something completely different

The Funniest Joke Ever

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New to this blog?

Then check out Fly, You Fools! - An Indian webcomic about life, and its irritations.

It’s been nearly an year since I published the last Statistics report for flyyoufools.com and the results for this year are:

• GREAT for the traffic increase,
• HUGE for the increase in the number of subscribers, and
• EXTREMELY HORNY USERS for the keywords searched.

In the last year, the site got ~250,000 pageviews from 166 countries (Top 3 – India, USA, UK). The top sources for traffic were:

1. Stumbleupon (Mainly because of Strange Advertising Slogans)
2. Google (Searches on the keywords mentioned below)
3. Direct Traffic (When people go to flyyoufools.com directly)
4. SavitaBhabhi.com (That’s right, they linked me in their “Press” section!)
5. Remains of the Desi (Another article on S Bhabhi)
6. Gmail, Indianpad, Reddit, Digg come after that. Twitter is at #10.

The strange advertising slogans comic got submitted on Digg and hit the front page, but as usually happens, someone linked directly to the image so all those visits didn’t really register. And anyway the Digg crowd (being the FAIL mongering retard ass rapers they are) did not like it much.

As is obvious Savita Bhabhi remains popular. In case you haven’t heard of SB, it’s an Indian porn-toon site and is Not Safe For Work. Go home and check it, if you have to. There have been protests against it, so obviously the news channels did their bit of khulasaing and very happily showed the images on TV (after semi-blurring the objectionable bits – which is 90% of the site).

Apparantly, the latest SB episode has a Amitabh Bacchhan lookalike, and Karan Johar wants to sue the creators of SB. Wait, what?

But all these insights pale in front of the following raw data! This is a dump of the stuff people searched in Google and landed on the site. Starting from most popular, going down.

I present to you, the depravity of the Indian Youth:

savita bhabi
savita bhabhi
savita
fly you fools   <== Reasonable
savitabhabhi
indian sex comics
www.savita bhabi.com
flyyoufools   <== Reasonable
savita bhabhi comics
savita bhabhi story
savitabhabi
savita bhabhi comic
savita bhabhi sex stories
dying goat from eating apples <== WTF!!
indian bhabhi
indian porn comics
savita bhabi.com
savita bhabhi sex
flyyoufools.com   <== Reasonable
indian bhabi
garam bhabhi <== WTF!
sex with bhabhi
sawita bhabhi
savita bhabhi fly you fools
savitha bhabi
indian comic sex
sex slave comics <== WTF!
savita bhabhi sex comics
savita bhabi comics
savita bhabie
savita bhabhi stories
savita bhabhi sex story
indian news channels
savita babhi
aamsutra
anal comics <== WTF!
savitha bhabhi
uncle sex <== WTF! <== WTF!
indian comics   <== Reasonable
savita bhabhi hindi
savita bhabhi hindi comics
indian webcomics   <== Very Reasonable
bhabi sex
savita bhabi sex
savitha bhabhi sex stories
indian porn comic
indian web comic
indian webcomic
indian adult comics
saad akhtar <== WTF! No wait…  Reasonable
bhabhi sex
the times of bullshit
saveeta bhabi
savita bhabhi .com
sex comics indian
savitha bhabhi pornographic comic -site:feedfury.com
sex with bhabi
funny indian comic
nudism
www.flyyoufools.com <== WTF! Dude! You’re googling the URL??
www.savita bhabi .com
indian sex stories savita bhabhi
indian comic porn
sex with uncle (South Park, Anyone? <= Link to youtube)
mary jane ki ek packet
indian bhabhi sex
indian porn
porn comics
dark knight overrated <== FTW!
fly fools
sex slave comic
horny monkey
pulp fiction
savita bhabhi boobs
funny unanswered questions   <== Reasonable
free indian sex comics
indian advertising slogans   <== Reasonable
indian sex slave
to kill a mockingbird comic strip   <== Reasonable
anal comic   <== In Soviet Russia, Anus Mocks You!
comics like savita bhabhi
famous unanswered questions   <== Reasonable
indian ad slogans   <== Reasonable
funny taglines   <== Reasonable
horny comics
indian bhabhi porn
indian news channel   <== Reasonable
indian nudists
fucking savita bhabhi
india sex comics
indian bhabi sex
indian sex savita
indian sex savita bhabhi
indian taglines
advertising slogans in india
agony uncle
comic savita bhabhi
You’re still actually reading this shit?
india tv funny news
pakistan denial
recession comics
similar to savita bhabhi
aam sex   <== WTF!
advertising taglines
agony sex
bhabhi aur devar   <== WTF
fire exit plan
india tv breaking news
shit art   <== WTF
life questions to think about
sex monkey   <== WTF
anti constipation medicine
food terrorism
reality show host
samsung slogan
fast food is killing us
fly you fools designers must kill   <== WTF
flyyoufools mac pc
fools fly
indian suck
indian toon porn
indian you porn
is fast food killing us
making of rock on movie
monkey sex
philosophers friends on gtalk
small penis comic
suicidal loser
constipation medicine india
define relief
devar bhabhi sex stories   <== WTF
mindless cattle
nudist comics
rock band films

The site started on May 12 2008, and till today (24 Aug) there have been about 6,216 visitors.  A puny number, but one which I consider a good beginning.

After the home page, the maximum number of visits is for: How Society Creates Mass Murderers.

But these are not the fun facts. The real funny thing is what people have searched to get to Fly, You Fools!  These are some of the search queries people have searched for:

1. India tv aliens cows
2. Anal india
3. Is a fallen apple alive in any way
4. Samuel jackson viking movie?
5. Retail store sucks
6. Comic anal
7. Fuck stories about pain and pleasure
8. What is the hierarchy of the animal king
9. “their high horses” peta
10. Alien anal comics
11. Article on fast food killing us
12. Constipation comic
13. Commercial wash basins
14. Funny behavior of indians
15. Funny mass murderers
16. Funny software to reduce frustration
17. Funny terrorist questions
18. Good music to play at a retail store
19. Hit mosquitoe killer consumed by human beings can kill them
20. Horrible indian classical music
21. Moral bandits
22. How do you spell “extension chords”
23. Life as a north indian in bangalore
24. Meaning of sweeping and killing cockcroach in a dream?
25. Saas bahu aur saazish 5 july 2008
26. Seeing a dead lizard+indian
27. Scientifically proved hidden questions
28. Alien fuck comics
29. In delhi what food people are taking
30. Fly you fools t shirt
31. Pulp fiction unanswered questions
32. Indian mass murderers
33. “killing lizards” fun

And the best one of all – Dying goat from eating apples

Think about it… someone dreamt of sweeping and killing cockroaches at night. Then woke up disturbed, then Googled it, then landed on this comic strip! What a journey. Wonder if his/her question was answered…